I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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