...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
