worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
