Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize