last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
