everyone is single if you try hard enough
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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