I smell stomach acid.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Never joke about your clitoris.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
