hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
