Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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