i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
