school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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