you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
