Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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