break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Less talking, more tequila
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
