This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
