What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Every concussion has its silver lining
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
