jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
