He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
