Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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