I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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