Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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