Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
