Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
