Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
