She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
