I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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