I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
