Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
