whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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