Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
