You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
