awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
