now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize