Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
