exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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