Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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