If i come over, it means nothing
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
