apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
