Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
