it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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