i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i came on her dog
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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