I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize