my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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