No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
