Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
are you so shy because you have an std?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize