I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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