sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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