I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize