I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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