hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
