It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
