Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
