You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
