Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She bit a glass in half.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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