Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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