he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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