So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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