we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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